A. Snowmobiles, ATV’s, free food, snow football.

About 50 guys from the UofM attended this year’s Man Retreat.

Check out the promo video!

http://vimeo.com/9458280

We watched a Mark Driscoll clip that talked about what the bible says about being a man.

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/marriage-and-men

One thing Nick and I have both come to agree upon is that marriage undeniably reveals areas of sin and idolatry in our hearts that we kept easily hidden before entering into this intimate of a relationship.   It has exposed selfishness to its utmost destructive core.  Marriage has also exposed God’s mercy in its most flooding power.  We can drink so deeply from the well of Jesus!   That is why we also agree that marriage is the sweetest gift of grace for both of us because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It allows us to see what we couldn’t see before, it forces us to evaluate our hearts and helps us to repent freely of sin so much more frequently.  Our view of our own sin has increased so greatly since being married, which is a HUGE blessing!  Why? Because it makes the cross of Jesus Christ THAT much bigger and His grace is THAT much more abundant than we ever dreamed.  We are truly in love with our savior, whose mercy continues mold us.

We got to get dressed up all fancy for our "Banquet of Love" on Sat. night- so fun!

Through being real and honest with people in our couples group (not always easy!), which meets regularly once a week, Nick and I have truly become exposed not only to each other, but to these six other sweet friends.  They have loved us, seen us at our worst moments, prayed for us, counseled us, and rejoiced with us as the Lord has truly transformed the dynamics of our marriage relationship in the past year!  Without close Christian community and without allowing ourselves to be known by them, we don’t believe that this much change could have been produced in just one year.  We so easily could have hid our marriage behind closed doors, but God has called us out of darkness and into light.  We don’t have to justify, blame, or hide.  We can come into the light because Jesus died for us.  He bore our blame. And He provides Christian fellowship to walk through the muddy waters. That’s why Paul Tripp says that change is a COMMUNITY project- and boy is he right.  Without community that we can be real and gut-level honest with, we are all sinking fast and true change of the heart does not really happen.

Paul Tripp says marriage problems are heart problems. Nick and I are discovering that the outward behavior patterns in our lives are not the problem in our marriage.  All of these things are outward reflections of inward realities in our hearts.  Jesus is not concerned with fixing the behavior patterns in our lives. Rather, he invites us in gently to be honest and real, to confess what’s on our hearts.  All so that He can restore us to himself and give us all of His love and mercy for our sin.  THEN we have the grace and the gospel to work on our marriage.

How can this happen?  Paul Tripp offers some things to think about and life-changing principles we feel incredibly grateful to have received.  We would be selfish not to share.

Three common and unresolving ways people deal with problems in marriage:

1.Threat

2. Manipulation

3.  Guilt

Here is what Paul Tripp has to say…

Principle 1: A marriage of unity, understanding, and love is not rooted in romance, but in worship.

• Jesus wants us to live from the heart
• Romance is the result of something, not the foundation of something
• Worship is your identity- not just on Sunday
• Our actions and words are controlled by what is in our hearts (Luke 6:45)
• We need to be willing to say, “I am my biggest marriage problem.”

Principle 2: Sin causes us to shrink our lives to the size of our lives.

• The DNA of sin is selfishness- which is anti- social- but we were created to live an outward life.
• Because of sin, we carry around something that’s destructive to relationships
• Much of what we call love isn’t love
• Physical attraction is not love
• Wives:  You do not need a husband who loves you (though this would be a gift of grace to pray for)
• Husbands: You do not need a wife who respects you (though this would be a gift of grace to pray for)
• Some women are powerfully attracted to a man- because she is powerfully attracted to herself- or vise versa- NOT a solid foundation for marriage
• Physical attraction is not a foundation for financial problems, it will not sustain any problems in your marriage
• Some women- you have whipped your man into shape. He knows his boundaries and what happens when he crosses them and its not pretty- Tha’ts NOT marriage, that’s NOT unity

Principle 3: Marriage, this side of heaven, is always a war between two kingdoms

Questions for Reflection:

• What is happening in the little moments of your marriage?
• How much is anti-social selfishness and isolation pushing you away from unity in your marriage?
• Look back over a couple of weeks and scan your irritation.
  • What have you made important that isn’t?
• Think about the places you’ve argued
  • Why do you get mad at him/her?
  • Does he/she get in your way?
• How flexible are you?
• What do you do with the sin/weaknesses of your spouse?
• Imagine you are a paintbrush, your spouse is the canvas
  • Where do your bristles need to be softened?
• Are you stepping toward your brokenness or away from it?
• If you are only loving “deserving” people, who are you really loving?
• Do you love to BE loved or do you love because you have BEEN loved by God?
• What actually is important to you?

Final Thoughts…

• You don’t have to indulge your anger, thoughts, or sin like its your master
• Fix marriage vertically before you fix it horizontally.
  • What do you need to talk to God about?  Do you need to confess, repent, and receive abundant grace and freedom?
• True love is not born out of duty but out of gratitude
• How much you love God is reflected in how much you love those closest to you in your lives
• Love = willing self sacrificing for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving
• Love requires sacrifice
• Love doesn’t throw your brokenness in your face, it doesn’t bring it up again, it celebrates the transformation of Jesus
• Christ-like love is the most powerful love in the universe
• Wives: move towards your husband in his weakest moment with grace instead of walking away in the silent treatment
• To believe in God, you have to believe

1. He is creator
2. He is sovereign
3. He is savior

• We reject God as creator when we fail to see the glory in how he created our spouse
• We curse God’s sovereignty when we don’t accept our marriage story we have been given
• We only believe in him as savior when we need a savior, when we confess in repentance our desire for His transforming grace in our lives.  He can wash us and our marriages white as snow!
• When you celebrate God as sovereign, creator and savior- you begin to move towards your spouse with patience, grace and hope.

We just got home from our leader’s retreat!  We had about 55 students from the U of M come together to talk about vision for how to love, serve, and come alongside the people on our campus.  We get a glimpse of what it meant to be a disciple of Jesus after his death when his disciples set out on a mission to make this amazing gift of salvation through Christ known in the cities and contexts in which they were living.  It is amazing to see how the apostles of Jesus became faithful laborers from one city to another, proclaiming the reality of Jesus to many who had never heard of his mercy and salvation.  In spite of suffering and persecution, in spite of sin in the church, and in spite of conflict, the church continued to grow. It grew in the context of remarkable love among the Christians in Jerusalem, frequent miracles, and the courageous proclamation of the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit. The word of God continued to increase in spite of widespread opposition.  Many people became Christians. The lower ranks of the priesthood numbered in the thousands, of whom many were poor and may have first been attracted to Christians by their charity, under the guidance of the newly appointed deacons.  The acts of the apostles’ lives were documented in the book of Acts in the bible, where we read in Acts 6:7: “And the word of God continued to increase, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests became obedient to the faith.”

There would not be any students in the picture above if the reality of Acts 6:7 was not possible.  If the word of God did not continue to increase and if Jesus’ disciples never multiplied or became obedient to faith in Jesus Christ, there would not be a Campus Outreach staff team and there would not be 55 students from the U of M desiring the word of God to increase on their campus.

Two Campus Outreach Indianapolis staff team guys, Brett Barnes and Patrick Lewis, flew into Minneapolis to tell our students in Minneapolis how God has been raising up laborers through the campuses in Indianapolis.  They widened our vision from the college campus to what God is doing around the world.  There have been many students who have been discipled through Campus Outreach who are now living among other people groups in the nations of the world, coming alongside people to gently share this message of Jesus.  An amazing story Brett shared was when he went with a team to bring bibles (the word of God) to a native tribe in Peru who had never heard the story of Jesus before.  After handing out a bible to a man, the man read about Jesus and immediately asked, “Will you stay and teach us?”  They went to another city to deliver more bible and share the message of Jesus, and the chief tribe of the people group said that they’ve always known there is a God who provides their sun, their food, shelter and water, but they’ve never known how to have a relationship with Him.  The chief said he would deliver the bibles and the story of Jesus to his people immediately.”

Its amazing to think that all of the people in the world are souls.  Souls hungry and longing to be in deep, intimate relationship with their creator.  But all our souls live in different cities within different contexts.  We were challenged to be creative, take risks, trust God, and pray for bigger things within our college campuses.   I (Katie) had so much fun dreaming over our lunch break with freshman girls about creative ways to spend time with other girls in the dorms in the hopes of sharing our lives and Jesus with them.

I love the hearts of all the students who came, full of humility, faith, and desire to love others.  We spent about 1.5 hours hearing all of them confess their struggle to die to selfish desires and live with vision and purpose while they are at college.  Many of them shared their ideas and visions to give their lives away to love and serve their non-believing friends on the college campus.  Many of them suggested moving into different apartments, houses, frats and sororities in different spots all over campus to reach different types of people.  These students are ready to give up comfort and to go out into their context- the college campus- and live their lives among those who have never heard or seen the life of Jesus Christ.

(left: Bethel staff & students)

We were also blessed to have students and staff from Bethel and Northwestern College at our retreat to pray and learn.  Its like being in a sport.  You can’t play a good game without strategy, practice, team unity, and belief in what you are trying to accomplish.  As Christians, we need to think strategically for how to love other people.  We need to dream more about how to serve others by being interested in them, by caring about their lives, by having fun with them, and by sharing our own weaknesses and the gift of Christ with them.  No Christian is perfect- that’s because we were and are all sinner’s in the first place!  But am amazing, merciful savior has rescued us, and we want him to rescue many others- for God’s glory and their joy.

(Right: Northwestern Staff & students)

Watch a short video of our time:

Summer Leaders Retreat 2009 from CO Minneapolis on Vimeo.

Some facts that blew me away:

- Phillips Neighborhood is the most diverse neighborhood in the United States of America.

- Largest concentration of Somalis in the U.S.

SOUTH MINNEAPOLIS URBAN TOUR

*The most diverse neighborhood in the U.S. with 100+ languages
*Explore “Eat Street” with over 75 ethnic restaurants in a six block area
*Largest concentration of Somalis in the U.S.
*Poorest neighborhood in Minnesota
* “White fright, White flight” and “Return flight”
*Somali malls, Asian malls, and Hispanic malls
*Midtown Global Market *Hindu temples
*Muslim mosques
*Witch covens
*Mormons
*Homosexual churches
*Cult and New Age groups
*Parachurch ministries
*White, Black, Hispanic, African, Asian, Native American, ethnic, and
multi-ethnic churches

City Vision Tour