Leah’s Freshman Year
“Coming into my freshman year of college I was ready to experience life: to live for my own enjoyment and put Christianity on hold until a more convenient time. I have struggled with drinking and partying since I was 16, but at college I began to feel that what I thought would be more exciting was becoming more and more empty. I felt trapped in the cycle of desperately trying to fill the gaping hole in my life with alcohol, guys, my outward appearance, the approval of others and whatever else I could use to escape from my depressing reality.
However, God was working in my life even in this time. One night Katie Stromwall was in Territorial Hall and happened to come into my dorm. My roommate and I like her right away and were inspired by her transparency and love for us, even though we hardly knew her. Kate left for training for quite awhile but had been praying the entire time that God would move in T-hall. Meanwhile, I remained in my empty cycle, feeling more and more low each weekend.
One night I was reading my bible in a flailing and despairing attempt to feel at peace with God and I opened randomly to 1Peter 3:5, “You’ve already put in your time in that God-ignorant way of life, partying night after night, a drunken and profligate life. Now it’s time to be done with it for good.” The verse jumped of the page as if God was in the room directly speaking to me. I was so convicted and although a part of me wanted to hold on to my life the way it was, a greater part of me was so weary that being done with partying “for good” sounded like a breath of fresh air. But I was still trapped and didn’t know what to do with my new revelation. For four days I pushed it aside, until my mom called me about my little sister, Erin. Anorexia held Erin in captivity and my family had to helplessly watch her become more of a lifeless corpse and less of the beautiful and vibrant girl we knew.
This call from my mom though, was not more bad news this time. She had called to tell me that God had broken through to Erin, that she wanted help. When I went to visit, saw Jesus in her. She was a completely different person, although still frail and withered away, her eyes where full of life and passion as she shared with me how God had rescued her. She spoke of living in the light, openly sharing her deepest struggles with me. I was so inspired by the change in her that I felt moved to share my struggle with my mom and her. I showed them the verse God had given me and we all wept for joy at God’s amazing love and perfect timing.
We prayed together and for the first time, were real with each other. Since this point God has had me to stay. He graciously took away my desire for alcohol. Day by day, as I long for more of God the things that used to matter to me fall away. Katie and other girls in Campus Outreach have been the biggest blessing and have loved me so well and stretched me in my walk with God. This year has not been easy, but it has been good. God is doing amazing things in my life and in the lives of other girls here at the U of M. I am so humbled to see him use, me an extremely flawed servant, for his glory.”
